Story from My Life: We Recycle in this House

Growing up I hated bringing lunch to school.

Not because of what was in the brown paper sack (usually a Braunschweiger sandwich, a handful of Fritos, and an apple with a soft-spot), but because of the brown paper sack.

My dad had at some point decided that our families financial security was solely dependent on getting as much life out of those $0.02 bags as we could, which in his mind meant at least three lunches.

So everyday after lunch, while all the other kids at my table were tossing their used lunch bags in the trash, I had to fold mine up and slip it into my back pocket.

To make sure I didn’t forget, he would write a note on the outside reminding me to bring the bag back…I don’t remember those reminders being very subtle either.

And if I for some reason forgot to bring the bag back the conversation would go something like this the next morning:

Dad: “Hey I made your lunch, where’s your bag?”

Me: “I don’t know dad, I think I might have tossed it.”

Dad: “What! How could you toss it, didn’t you see the note?”

Me: “yeah I saw the note, everyone saw the note.”

Dad: “So why did you toss it”

Me: “I don’t know I guess I just forgot”

Dad: “So now what are we going to do?”

Me: “I don’t know dad, maybe grab one of the other 50 bags that came in the pack and use that?”

Dad: “Don’t forget to bring this bag back…oh and start bringing back the sandwich bags we can get a couple days out of those as well.”

One day my sandwich bag is filled with a liverwurst and spicy brown mustard sandwich, and the next filled with PB & J

Its amazing chicks weren’t throwing themselves at me in high school.

TC

Story from My Life: Summer Camp…What the what?

When I was 11 and living in Hawaii my parents decided it was a great idea to send me to summer camp. 

Cool right; swimming, surfing, hiking the mountains.  How could this not kick ass!

Tap the breaks.  This was Computer Camp.

Still semi cool right; video games, robots, it’s like space camp without the space.

Tap the breaks again.  This was basically an introduction to CAD computer camp.

So as an 11 year old I was pretty much shit out of luck.  My options were going, or bitching about it and still going. 

So every morning my dad and I would drive across the island to the University of Hawaii, where he would drop me off and send me on my way to nerd camp.

While at camp I learned a few things.

1. When your nerd-camp name-tag says Theodore, it’s inevitable that computer version of Doogie Howser will tell everyone your name spells “The Odor”  (I guess the “e” is silent)

2. Never brag about being able to plot a square…everyone else is plotting 3D trapezoids.

It wasn’t all bad, we did have an “activity” hour and we often played kick-ball.  You know what’s a good way to feel athletic, play a bunch of 11 year old computer dorks in Kick-ball.  

This is also where I developed my first memorable crush.  Her name was Charlie and she was pretty.  She and I would wait for our rides together after camp, sometimes if I missed my bus* she and her Mom would take me to McDonalds.

She was the first girl that called me her boyfriend…I guess she liked the athletic type over the brainiacs.

When camp was over they handed out awards, best typist, smartest, most computer friendly, crap like that.  

Me?  I got most athletic.  Winning most athletic at computer camp is like being crowned “most tan” in Ireland…the competitions aint that tough.

*Because camp ended earlier then my dad got off work I had to ride the bus to his office, or back home.  His office wasn’t that far of a ride, but back home was on the other side of the island. I had to make a transfer…at 11…man times have changed.

TC

Netflix brought me: WALL-E and Vicky Cristina Barcelona

WALL-E

I’d rank this right behind the Toy Story series on my list of favorite Pixar movies.

This one was had all the charm of the other Pixar movie with a little bit of extra something

I loved the roach and the clean-bot

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Surprised how much I liked this movie.  It’ s worth a watch unless you like a lot of action and hate narrators….if so then this movie would suck for you.

Penelope Cruz is crazy sexy.

TC

What ever happened to Vinnie Delpino? Assist to JWB

Met him when he was a  15 yr old doctor.

He’d be my first choice to make a white castle run with.

And other then Tim Gunn, there is no one I would rather go suit shopping with.

Of course I’m talking about the greatness of NPH

TC

Netflix brought me: Star Trek and Funny People

Recently subscribed to Netflix.

My wife and I are incredibly behind in our movie watching, so we’re hoping this can get us current.

My real goal is to get introduced to Mad Men and caught up on the first two seasons of 30 Rock.

But for now it’s been movies, the first two being Star Trek and Funny People.

So with the intention of killing a few blog entries, I introduce my Netflix review thread.

Side note: Don’t expect much in the way of depth to my reviews…do I look like F-ing Ebert.

Star Trek:

Kicked Ass!  loved how they brought in the younger versions of the classic characters.  The story is hard to follow sometimes, but damn that was a fun 2 plus hours.

Funny People:

Meh….Had it’s moments but not enough for me to watch it again

Ummm Leslie Mann is Hot. 

TC

Father of the Year: On a wifes revenge

So the pull my finger trick I had taught my daughter had started to lose its luster with most everyone in the family. 

So a few weeks ago I decided to add a new twist:

Me: “pull my finger”

Daughter: “No, that’s gross, you’re going to fart”

Me: “maybe. but if I do you get to make a wish.” “It’ like tossing a coin in a fountain”

Daughter: “ok”

After that stroke of genius pull my finger was back, much to the displeasure of my wife. 

A few days ago my wife saw her opportunity to get even.

Me: “So this Wednesday marks my one week anniversary with no cokes of any kind”

Wife: “that’s great, just doing that will help with the gut”

Me: “let’s not talk about it, I think the more we acknowledge it, the bigger it might get”

Wife: “Ohhhh da buddha belly is sad, hey daughter come rub daddy’s belly”

Daughter: “why”

Wife: “because if you rub it and say Buddha Belly, Buddha Belly, you get to make a wish”

So now, once a day, my daughter comes up to me, puts her hand on my belly, closes her eyes and makes a wish while saying “Buddha belly, Buddha belly, Buddha belly, Buddha belly.”

I miss pull my finger, Buddha belly is kinda hard on my ego.

TC

I’m getting sentimental in my old age.

When I have people come into my office, I find myself pushing my chair back from my desk. 

I’ll rest cross my legs, my right leg on my left knee. I interlock my fingers and rest them on the back of my head while they talk.   

Sometime’s I’ll rub my chin with my right hand, or bite on the end of a pen.

You know where I got that from?  My Dad.

When I think back to visiting him at his office I think of the Hawaiian posters on the wall, the bike resting in the corner, and the picture of my brother and I at Disneyland sitting on a bench with very sad painted-faces.

I think of the Mac monitor, scatter plot diagrams and stat sheets filling his desk

And I think of my Dad, hands resting behind his head, legs crossed, chair pushed back, listening as I explain my latest mishap or reason for needing money.

I’m glad I was so observant, I like sitting like that, it makes me feel smarter.

Side Note…My Dad’s not dead, I didn’t want you to think he was by the tone, he’s very much alive…sometimes he comments.

TC

People need your help!

–Her last words, her uncle said, were, “Mother, don’t let me die.” She was buried Friday in her mother’s hometown, her uncle said.–

 

 

I average 20 readers a post (shockingly).

If each  reader donated $20 (that’s the same price as a movie for two, a large two topping pizza or 1 lap-dance) we could get $400.00 into a system that needs it very badly.

Below are links to just a few organizations that know how to make the most out of whatever you can give.

My family chose the American Red Cross, but any of these below, and many more, could use your donation.

American Red Cross

Doctors without Borders

UNICEF

CARE

Save the Children

As an added incentive (as if saving a life isn’t enough) I will send an autographed picture of myself to anyone that donates at least $25.00 to the Haitian relief effort. 

or you could go with the Rainn Wilson pledge, depending on what you think of Dwight Schrute , my offer might be very appealing…or appoling

Email me at Theodoreclancy@verizon.net, or leave your name and contact info in the comments section.

Thank you,  and I’ll be back to posting about much less important stuff soon, I promise.

TC

Father of the Year: On the Origin of Species

My son has developed a tactic to stalling bedtime. He’ll purposely leave items in the living room and about 15 min after being tucked in he’ll come back out and say he needs to get said item (a blanket, toy, stuffed animal, etc).

Now depending on my mood, I’ll either let him stay up a little longer and hangout or I’ll make him grab his strategically placed item and go back to bed.

But this 3 year old has gotten so good that when he comes out to pick up 1 item he’ll bring another item with him from his room and leave it in the living room….thus ensuring that he has an excuse to get back out again.

It dawned on me last night that I wasn’t watching a 3 year olds bedtime-game, but instead was a witness to the development of a tactic that will serve him well later in life.

To me this is no different then a bear cube play fighting with his brothers, learning at a young age the skills that will keep him alive later in life, or a kitten practicing the pounce technique that will keep it fed in its adult years.

You see, my son is developing the skills needed to pull off the greatest date move known to man or woman…the “I left (fill in the blank) at your place, can I come by and get it” technique.

I think everyone knows this move, you’re at someone’s place you find interesting, you want to make sure you have an excuse to see them later, so what do you do, you leave something behind (a hat, scarf, backpack, whatever).

A day later you make the call:

You: “Hey I think I left my….. at your place, can I stop by and get it soon?”

Them: “I was wondering where that came from, I’m here all afternoon.”

You: “What about tonight? I’m very busy at work (plant the seed of importance) I could bring dinner to thank you.”

I know this move well, I used to use it when my wife and I were “just friends” and I wanted to create reasons to spend more time with her.

Recently I’ve heard someone tell me about a guy who took this to the ultimate level. When he picked up his date he asked if he could leave his laptop in her apartment because he didn’t want to leave it in his car while they went to eat. At the end of the night, when he was dropping her off, he reminder her that his laptop was in her place and would she mind if he came up to get it. Brilliance!

I’m not saying she wouldn’t have invited him up anyway, but he took the awkwardness out of it. She may have been debating, or didn’t know how to broach the invitation, but by leaving something at her place he took that out of play.

What my son has shown me is that that move wasn’t just something conceptualized on the spot, it was ingrained, he (the laptop guy, and any guy or girl for that matter) probably has been working on that technique their entire life, and now it’s paying off in the dating world.

So what do I do with my son?

Do I nip this technique the bud?

Do I encourage it, and perhaps increase his chances of success?

In the end I decided to do nothing and let evolution/development take it’s natural course.

I am the Charles Darwin of parenting.

TC

Why I will never make management: Phones

Recently I moved offices cubes. 

It was over the holiday break and I thought I could handle the process myself.   The move wasn’t a long one, I went from the NE corner of a block of cubes to the SW….My old and new cubes have connecting corners.

Anyway.  The one thing I couldn’t do was change my phone.  And because it was the holidays I couldn’t get a maintenance person to change the lines.

So I did what anyone else would do, I left my phone in my old cube. 

I had it this way for exactly 3 phone calls, in which every time my phone would ring I would run down my aisle, over a row,  and into my old cube.

So I decided to run my phone cable under the cubes and into my new one.  It was long enough to reach my desk, but unfortunately not long enough to get on my desk.

So for the last two weeks my phone has sat next to my right foot.

It’s only inconvenient when I have to hang-up

Visual Evidence: