Thinking and rethinking

This blog has recently become the “pink elephant” in my mind.  I know it’s here, I know it needs attention, I just don’t know what to do with it.

Recently I have a better idea of what I want to write about. 

I like the “Father of the year” pieces, and would like to write some short short-stories with no purpose other than to entertain myself and hopefully the few readers I have left. 

Perhaps I’ll sprinkle in some life lessons, thoughts on being a 33 yr old married father of two, and some sex to keep the google searches up.




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Father of the year: on Coin Toss

Main Entry: prob·a·bil·i·ty
Pronunciation: \ˌprä-bə-ˈbi-lə-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural prob·a·bil·i·ties
Date: 15th century
1 : the quality or state of being probable
2 : something (as an event or circumstance) that is probable
3 a (1) : the ratio of the number of outcomes in an exhaustive set of equally likely outcomes that produce a given event to the total number of possible outcomes (2) : the chance that a given event will occur b : a branch of mathematics concerned with the study of probabilities
4 : a logical relation between statements such that evidence confirming one confirms the other to some degree

Knowing that probability does exist; why is it that when I give my 3 yr old son his shoes… 100% of the time they end up on the wrong feet?



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Count down to 10: #7 I see London I see France

#7 brings me to an odd thing I have learned in my ten years of marriage.  I’ve learned to take advantage of my wife’s naked moments. 

I love seeing my wife naked. 

I love stealing a glance over the shower curtain when she asks me to bring her her face soap, or a towel. 

I love watching her change into her work clothes in the morning.

I love watching her get ready for a night out, or stripping down for a night in.

Her body has changed in 10 years, she fits it better, I can see she has a better sense of it, she looks amazing when naked.  I’ve learned to not take that for granted. 


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Count down to 10: # 8 Pain point will be the death of us

Find your marriage pain point and work on it together.

It could be Money, Sex, Kids, Parenting, Employment, Addictions, Ex Spouses or Family.  We all have some pain point that causes friction, and usually these pain points are the root of what drives a happy marriage towards a messy divorce.

What I have learned in ten years of marriage is to identify the issue and work through it.  Come to the discussion with the ability to see both sides, seek counseling if needed.  But don’t ignore it, don’t dance around it, and don’t think it will go away. 

Working through your pain point is not going to be an easy task, it may take years, if  not the entire life of the marriage, but keep at it.


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Story from my life: Color Blindness

A few days ago I was at my daughters dance class for “film” day.

This is the class where parents can film their girl doing their routine so they can practice at home before the recital

So during the class I was talking to the dad next to me, a black guy I had not met before.

At some point in the conversation I casually asked “So which girl is yours?”

At which point he looked at me, asked if I was serious and pointed toward the corner….where I saw the only black girl in the class standing against the wall.

We didn’t  really talk much after that.

You see people I don’t see color…or I’m an obliviot


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Count down to 10 # 9 I Don’t know who you are sometimes

My wife isn’t the same person I married 10 years ago.  Sometimes, she isn’t the same person I went to bed with the night before…But I love that. 

What I have learned in 10 years of marriage is that people change, and you better either (Train analogy coming up in 3..2..1) get on board, redirect the tracks, or watch that person pull away from the station without you.  (That analogy kicked ass)

And from 10 years of marriage I have learned that it is often a good idea to get on board with the changes…because it can make the next day different, and different has possibilities for better, and better is something (I Feel) we should strive for in our marriage.

When I say my wife is ever changes it doesn’t always mean life changing.

Some changes are big, like her belly when she swelled with child, others are temporary, like lightning her hair for the summer.  But these are all changes that have had an effect on our marriage at some point in ten years. 

And most of her changes have been positive whether I knew that going into them or not I can’t remember, but I’m glad I got on board.

A few of my favorite changes: (No particular order)

-She went from Marketing to Teaching:  (I knew it would mean less money and some tough times early, but this change has kicked ass all around for us.)

-Tattoo: When she hit 30 she got a Tattoo.  It’s sexy and not something I would ever have thought she would do just 10 years earlier, but she changed a little and tat resulted in a very meaningful (to her) sexy (to me) Tattoo

-Sushi: She hated it when we first met, now she loves it. simple but awesome change

Theses are just a few, she has to many to list, and I haven’t loved them all.

But what I have learned is change is just around the corner, how big, good, impactful is yet to be determined.


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Count down to 10: #10 Wins and losses

This May my gorgeous wife and I will celebrate Ten years of  marriage.

I know Ten will seem small for those well seasoned relationships, but Ten is milestone these days, and it’s something I am very proud of.  I have only my wife to thank, and hopefully she knows how much I have enjoyed, appreciated and respected her commitment to me. 

What I’ve learned in Ten years of marriage: #10

When it comes to arguments, don’t keep a win total.

Sometimes being right is wrong, especially if you’re always right.  Marriage isn’t baseball, there are no playoffs, so there should be no reason or shame in losing an argument, especially if your loss means a win for your spouse. 

It’s also important not to lose every argument too,  try to keep your win/loss total even.  It’s not always easy, but it’s important.

A happy spouse leads to a happy marriage.

Thank you LC, Thank you for everything.


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